What's in a name?

It’s 3am. My c-section is scheduled in just four hours…I am leaving for the hospital in two…my head is spinning…and I can’t sleep.

I’m not really nervous about how the surgery will go. I’ve done this before and know what to expect. I love my doctor and I am confident in his abilities to deliver this baby and keep both of us safe.

This is a very melancholy event. On one hand, it’s August and I’m 39 weeks pregnant. I’m huge, hot and miserable and all I want is to get this baby out. On the other hand, this baby has been all mine for the last nine months. For nine months it’s just been him and me. Hundreds of kicks, thousands of hiccups – all mine. Now don’t get me wrong…I’m sure at 1:00, 3:00, and 5:00 am when he’s waking up to be fed I’ll gladly let him be anybody else’s, but you know what I mean. Never again will I feel this little guy move inside of me. In five hours or so my abdomen full of life will be left full of scar tissue and emptiness. I can’t wait for the days, weeks and years ahead of me to get to know my new son…but pregnancy is a wonderful, beautiful thing where women are able to act with Heavenly Father in creating life. There is nothing like it, and all good things come to an end, right?

We have really struggled with picking out a name for this baby. We settled on a first name a couple of months ago but could never agree upon a middle name. Hayden’s middle name is Michael, after his father, so I didn’t want to just give this one a name because it “sounded good”. Unfortunately, most people in either Mike’s or my family have names that sound terrible with either his first name or our last name. I’ve had a lot of quiet time to think last night and into the early morning hours and I finally found a name that means a great deal to me and just plain sounds right. His name will be Dallin James Richards. Just like Hayden, we’ve chosen the name Dallin for no other reason than we liked it. James will be after my best friend’s father, Michael James Scott.

I met Jim when I was 13 years old and his family moved into our neighborhood and ward. Kelly and I became fast friends, but I had absolutely no idea the influence her father would have on me. He was ready and willing to provide priesthood blessings and any other advice I needed at any time. He gave me priesthood blessings before school started and counsel when necessary. He is a very good man. Jim was such an influence for good during my teenage years that it just seems right to name my son after him. I so wish my own father was still here to meet my children, but he passed away a few months before Hayden was born. Maybe they were there to greet him on the other side of the veil.

It is now 3:34 am and I suppose I should try and get some sleep for the last hour that I’ve got. I’ll post pictures as soon as I can!